Unfaithful
by Emotions
Summary: Everytime I walk out the door, I see him die a little more inside.


Unfaithful

She watched him sleeping through the mirror as she finished getting ready. She sat at the small vanity table in their two room apartment in Brooklyn. He was always sleeping when she left, whether he was faking or not, she knew that he had to pretend so that he didn't have to face that she was leaving to do what they both knew she did every night.

It wasn't that she didn't love him, it's just that she had gotten into this business long before she met him; she was too far gone into this world to ever leave … and she didn't know how to leave. It's not that the life she was leading was all bad; it's how she met him after all. But god, she could tell that it hurt him, that every time she walked out that door that it killed him. He knew that this is what helped them survive in this city; he knew that she had to do this… that without the money she earned, they would never make it. But he didn't understand why he wasn't enough for her.

She could feel the familiar feeling of anguish begin to coil in her stomach. It was becoming a common occurrence for her to throw up every night before she left for work, she just hoped she could force it away before it became too much. God, she hated this.

She stood slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible as to not wake him, whether he was sleeping or not, they both had to pretend. She silently made her way over to the bed and watched him as he slept hoping she would see the slow rising and falling of his chest and not the quick pulse that she sometimes saw that indicated he was awake. She tried to keep her hand even as she slowly brought her finger to his cheek, feeling his soft skin she ran her fingers down his jaw line and up to linger on his lips, she dare not kiss him for fear he might wake up. It made it so much harder to leave when he was watching her. She removed her fingers from his lips and brought them to her own in silent kiss. She could feel the slow build of tears as they rose in her throat. Her eyes swept along his face, it sometimes amazed her how much younger he looked when he was sleeping compared to when he was awake.

Life was beginning to take its toll on both of them and as each day that went by, they were clinging more and more to each other but with each passing day she was taking away his life. She didn't want to do this any more; she didn't want to be the one who killed him. She loved him; he was her life line, her reason for living … the father of their unborn child.

She knew it was his... it had to be.

She turned from the bed to grab her bag and coat from the floor and draped them over her arm; she took a deep breath and glanced at the clock…

7:45 ... she had to be at work by 8:00.

She closed her eyes and tried to gather as much courage as she possibly could. She made her way to the door; she stood there for a moment with her hand on the door knob while she said a silent prayer. She opened the door slowly so that it wouldn't squeak. He couldn't wake up.

"'motions?"

She froze.

She closed her eyes and kept her back to him as she tried to keep her breathing even. She plastered a fake smile on her face as she turned to him.

"Yes Spot?"

He was sitting up in the bed, hair messed up from sleeping ... his expression grim.

"You gonna be late coming home tonight?"

She had to repeat to herself silently to stay calm ... she had done this so many times it was almost as though she wasn't lying to him any more; it was almost as though she wasn't lying to herself. She shook her head before clearing her throat.

"No"

She turned from him, not wanting to look at his face, to watch him die all over again.

"I ..." she cleared her throat again "I gatta go Spot" she paused, taking a deep breath "I love you"

She quickly stepped out into the hall and closed the door before he could respond. She knew he loved her, knew that he needed her. But she was slowly killing him by being unfaithful.

As she made her way down the stairs and out into the street she put on her coat and wrapped it firmly around herself. She glanced up at the sky to see that the snow clouds were beginning to move in. She kept her pace quick , tears starting to fall as she maneuvered though the crowed. She knew that every time she walked out that door... they both died just a little more

A.N: Ok, well … that basically came out of no where, love it or hate it but oh well. Since we are no longer allowed to do song fics... get the song "Unfaithful" by Rihanna, the story will make more sense if you listen to that song while reading it.

So ya, enjoy … oh and, please no bad review, if you don't like it then keep your opinion to yourself.

Emotions


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